Helen Kent

Coming to Him Alone

Year Signed Covenant: 1981

Passed into Glory: 2016

The Lord has always been a part of my life. I will forever be grateful to my parents and the good nuns who taught me for 14 years. However, in September of 1971, a special encounter with Jesus was both personal and life changing.

It began at a Sunday Mass. Due to feelings of unworthiness; it had been a while since I had been to communion. I had a deep need for reconciliation. As communion time approached, I felt a strong sense of being drawn. Before I knew it, I was walking up the aisle to communion.

After receiving the Eucharist, I found a small corner in the back of the church to pray. As my spirit quieted, there was a leap of joy within. It is difficult to verbalize, but I knew it was Jesus. I felt forgiveness and love; I had been touched by Jesus. This was the beginning of a walk that would change my life. Easter was nearing when I had a revelation that was overwhelming. During the Holy Thursday Mass, I was meditating on the crucifix and became aware of how much I loved my family. It would totally crush me to hurt them in any way. I also realized that I did not love Jesus this way.

The sadness was intense and I pleaded with the Lord to help me love Him so much that I would not hurt Him by sin again. My hunger for Jesus became more profound. That year, God took my mother home. This event, though sad and agonizing, brought me together with my brother and sisters who shared with me about Charismatic Renewal. It was some time before I made it to my first prayer meeting, but it was awesome. It started with happy singing, quiet moments of worship, and singing in what I thought was some type of Latin chant. Suddenly, everyone was praying all at once out loud! Startled and a wee bit uneasy, I looked around and reassured myself with the thought that there across from me was an Italian priest and an Irish nun.

When the meeting was over, I was in light conversation with a lady and she looked at me abruptly and said, “You need prayers! Would you like us to pray with you?” The priest and others took me to a small side chapel. In total wonder, I found myself sitting in a chair with hands laid on me. Again, they all began praying out loud all at once, and tears began to flow down my cheeks. I had not been able to cry for a long time. I wept and poured out my heart to these complete strangers. The Lord baptized me in the Holy Spirit and my burdened heart was much lighter on the way home.

The events that followed were full of trials and pain, but Jesus was there through it all. I believe the breaking up of our family was never God’s perfect will. However, the Father never interferes with a person’s free will. No matter how desolate and despairing the situation may seem, God can make the experience count for something. Through the prayer group, a desire to live in Christian community began to form in my heart. While at a conference in Notre Dame, I attended a workshop on Christian community given by members of the Alleluia Community in Augusta, Georgia. Augusta was my hometown, although I had not lived there for several years. A seed was planted.

At this same conference, there was a prayer for the healing of broken marriages. Oh, how I wept for this miracle! I so wanted our family back together. We were asked to picture Jesus washing our feet and look into His eyes because He wanted to say something to each of us. I heard Jesus say, gently and so very lovingly, “Do not weep so. You are my bride now.”

In time, Alleluia hosted a conference in Augusta. While here, I talked with one of the coordinators about being part of Alleluia. I returned to Little Rock, Arkansas, and began to pray and prepare. When I felt that Jesus said to go, we packed up and to Augusta we came.

After a year, I was accepted to go underway into Alleluia. It was difficult and I could see God’s wisdom for the delay. Community life was difficult for me because of my shyness and my many fears. There was even a time in the process that I dropped my underway commitment. I was unable to live the Covenant with all my heart. My children blamed much of their unhappiness on the fact that I had come to Community. They wanted to return to Little Rock.

The children’s father offered to finance our return to Little Rock. However, when the day came to make the move, he was unable to fulfill this offer. We could not move even a block. I spent that night in prayer. I went before the Lord for guidance. God heard my plea and spoke to my spirit, “If I tell you to return to Community, will you do so? If it means giving up your children, grandchildren, family, all, will you do as I ask?”

I wept for a long time. Then the Lord showed me a vision. I saw a garden and there was Jesus sitting on a rock, beckoning me to come. Between me and the place where my Lord awaited was a fence-like structure with a very small opening. I looked back and there was my family and those I loved. I wanted them to come with me, but the place to enter was so small that only one could go in at a time. I got through and there, at His feet, Jesus gave me this understanding. Each must come to Him on his or her own. He wants our love, when it is freely given, because we want to give it. He wants our obedience out of our love and desire to obey. Everyone at some time will have the opportunity to come to Him, but it is always alone.

At last, I was at peace and could answer, “Yes, Lord,” with all my heart. The next morning, after a talk with Dennis McBride, I was once again underway in Alleluia.

My family was not surprised when I told them I had returned to Alleluia. I did tell them that if they really felt they did not want to be here, other arrangements could be made. They stayed. It was obvious that a change had taken place. I was ready to give my all to this life. On February 15,1981, nearly ten years after my first personal encounter with Jesus, I signed the Alleluia Covenant along with my son Joe.

This life has helped me deepen my faith. It has helped me love my Lord with my all. Why am I here? Jesus said, “Come!” Jesus says, “Stay!” Jesus has never said, “Leave!”

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